Caption the Cartoon: Global Fever

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Global Fever

It’s a sick world, indeed, but how do we get it back to health? Scientist Anthony Leiserowitz suggested some steps in his recent conversation with Bill Moyers, but now it’s your turn to play doctor and suggest a prognosis, diagnosis, prescription or something else entirely in the form of a clever caption.

Our editors will pick one to add to the official Caption the Cartoon Winners’ Gallery.

Cartoon by Norman Dapito.

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  • Scrambelicious

    Just take two climate change deniers and call me in the morning

  • CarlPanossian

    “I’m sorry — not only does Obamacare not cover this, but neither does Obama.”

  • Anonymous

    “Well, I wish you would have come in about 50 years ago….”

  • OMcGehee

    “You might have to live with the fever for an age or two, but the fever will get rid of the humans that caused it. Think of it as a natural cure.”

  • Gail Hunn

    Looks like you have a bad case of humans. Don’t worry – it’ll sort itself out in a couple thousand years or so.

  • The Flagstaff Yorkshireman

    Your problem lies with an infestation of billions of parasites who are sucking your lifeblood and excreting their waste into to the fragile membrane around you. Like all parasites they are devoid of the awareness that their actions that will kill you will also kill them.

  • Squealing

  • Jeff Keating

    first, do no harm.

  • pahakala

    “Gaea, if you can’t get that human circus on you convinced to enjoy that shade you have instead of running around their rings, you don’t stand a chance.”

  • Brad VanderMoere

    “We need to get your tracking temperature under control”

  • Richard Rossadillo

    Looks like you’ve got a serious infestation of Humans!

  • brad vandermoere

    it’s supposed to be ‘fracking’

  • Tim Lacy

    My friend, you are infected with a clever, quickly mutating life form that is resistant to all forms of science.

  • reneetheresa

    “You didn’t listen to the warning signs. I’m afraid you are going to have to hit rock bottom before it can turn around.”

  • Frankly Frank

    No wonder your sick, you think your all alone, just you against the whole world and of course you’ll lose. But that view is delusional. Meditate. Realize emptiness, interdependence, that we are all stardust, that we are one. You’ll feel better. Really.

  • Ryan Doyle

    The global marketplace sure has exposed you to some nasty stuff your politically compromised immune system couldn’t fight off. And I’m sorry to say, no Big Pharma Pill will cure you, no panacea exists. Just cut back on the big banking, and get more frugality with a healthy dose of Main Street… some balance may help you re-emerge healthy and ready for business in the future.

  • Mark Johanson

    I’m afraid your condition is terminal. My best advice is to have your head cryogenically frozen until a cure is found. Or perhaps get a cat.


    Nurse, get Noah on the phone.

  • Sdeffectsrhere

    I am concerned…ice is a start to treating your fever, but if you don’t take my diagnosis & treatment seriously by spreading it across your globe…the outcome will be life threatening at best; lethal at worse. We have no time to waste.

  • Ronni Taylor

    Global Capitalism has poisoned you and given you lung cancer and heart disease. No wonder you’re feeling poorly.

  • Virginia Abraham

    All you need is love!

  • Tom

    Well .. you have a nasty case of humanitis. I think we’ll start by melting those ice caps, raising your ocean levels and starving those little pests and then maybe a good ice age and you should be just fine.

  • Tom Seibert

    It’s not too late for those cochlear implants, Globey.

  • Paperboy

    Stop whining…you know the best way to lose weight is to sweat it off.

  • julesh7002

    “I’m sorry Mr. Terre; but we’ve found that your many of your humancytes are showing signs of toxic pollutioncy. It’s treatable, but the prognosis is about 50-50.”

  • Ryan Doyle

    Nature (or Darwinism) seems to have a penchant for balance, doesn’t it? It almost seems engrained in us that the very things that make us successful as a species will kill us off can bring us into balance again :)

  • Patrick Foley

    I’m Dr. Bilderberger, I am going to prescribe a balm that will control the parasite rash and perserve your resources. And get plenty of rest to help you get back to a more normal climate.

  • Laura Coyne

    This is all in your mind, man…use it or lose it and 6 million others!

  • Anonymous

    “We’ll start w/ a prescription of carbon farming rather than those chemical fertilizers you’ve been taking, but the tough step is going to be curing the fossil fuel addiction your mitochondria have going.”

  • Ane Berrett

    Roll over: let the humans adapt to axis change.

  • MGB

    you say it goes up one degree at a time — what’s the big deal?

  • John Angus

    I’d advise taking Dr. Joel Wallach seriously, and following his “prescription.”

  • Robert Studer

    Yes, there are side effects to these treatments but they are minor. As we continue, your earthly tendancies will weaken and you’ll be proud of your New World Order. By the way, that grid tatoo looks great on you.

  • squarepeg

    I didn’t realize that my bill for this check up,
    which isn’t covered by your health insurance would make you so ill.

  • Jordan

    “Well, Earth, it looks like you’re become sterilized due to the viral bacteria in your system.”

  • Sarcasius Maximus

    Retaining water? Hot flashes? Unpredictable temper? Bipolar? Come back when you can prove it. Now, get back to work.

  • annabelle

    I’m afraid we’ll have to give you an enema….You’re all blocked up with politicians, bankers and corporations!

  • joanne

    I’ll be honest with you. There’s no relief from a case of chronic institutionalized predation until those human scientists apply some ethical, holistic wisdom to discover an antidote for testosterone poisoning. Evolution hasn’ t been kind…plus all that radioactive waste is sprading like cancer.

  • George Bailey

    It’s a virus all right. Looks like just a few toxic cells have slowly caused your entire circulatory system to heat up. The next stage is critical, either your community system responds and you become immune, or else, well, the alternative really sucks.

  • Frances

    your complaint of feeling out of balance is because your ice cap is melting and your inner core being sucked out. I am sorry to say that you are the victim of one huge cluster frack.

  • Daniel Trivin

    “Your illness is due to stress. I think family counseling will help you tremendously.”

  • Anonymous

    I am sorry to inform you that have Stage 3 Global Warming, but I feel certain we can still cure you; I was cured of Slavery and people said that was incurable. Let me consult with my fellow humans so we can devise the best, most aggressive, treatment plan for you.

  • Connie Williams

    The purpose of a fever is to kill the organisms causing the illness. They won’t be able to stand the heat! You should take it easy and rest through this.

  • J

    Oh, Earth, you’re fine. I’m diagnosing you with hypochondria.

  • Daniel Cucura

    Nothing a nice, long shower won’t cure. Stay in there a good, long time. Get yourself really clean– forty days and forty nights ought to do it. You’ll come out so fresh and relaxed, you’ll feel like a new oblate spheroid.

  • Randy Ratliff

    Can we call someone for you? Your mother? Your children?

  • Anonymous

    Well, the leeches and laser treatments didn’t work, we sucked most of the oil and gas out and cut down most of the trees and you look and feel worse than ever. Maybe we should go back to basics and try some fans and a cold shower.

  • Don

    Government insurance has denied your claim that your ice cap is melting. Hasn’t this happened before? Something about a pre-condition millions of years ago?

  • James R. Bruton

    You’re infected with an intelligent life form, but not intelligent enough, I’m afraid.

  • Rivka Levy

    Sorry, there are no natural ice caps left and there’s a waiting list of 500 years.

  • Gary

    The doctor is a republican and doc says you’re gonna die.

  • Fred R. Kline

    “Terra Inferma, I’m afraid. I wish you had come sooner for treatment.”

  • Robert John MacDonnell

    Take 2 aspirin and call me in the morning. O yeah, sorry, doctors don’t talk to patients any more after the fleeting office visit. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with the world – all success is now based on being in a racket.

  • Lee


  • Cynthia Faisst

    This is your planet on Bath Salts. The effects of addiction may become irreversible.

  • vannamocha

    I don’t care if she says she’ll only go out with hotties!

  • Jason Mundstuk

    Try turning up the air conditioner.

  • cmrosko

    “Let’s try a dose of all the kings horses first…”

  • Mondiale

    Your Mother was right to bring you to the ER!
    You need a mega-dose of TRUTH serum – STAT!
    The NEXT FEW HOURS will be critical!


    That TRUTH SERUM I’ve just administered should help the FEVER rid your struggling Life Support system of toxicity & denial.


    It’s unclear whether to admit you straight to Intensive Care or give Hospice Services a call?!

  • propwriter

    “I’m going to give you a purgative to get rid of the bad economy and an analgesic to alleviate consumer pain.”

  • Karla Telega

    You’re the third world to come in this week, but buck up. A little famine never killed anybody.

  • John Greenwood

    Use a lot more solar panels and some windmills and call me in the morning. Oh yes and STOP USING ALL THAT OIL.

  • Bill

    You can’ t continue to smoke and abuse yourself then expect to live forever. I’m afraid it’s too late. All we can do now is try to manage the pain.

  • Bill

    I got my medical degree from Oral Robert’s University and did my residency at the Heritage Foundation. Have confidence . . . just keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll be fine. Cigarette?

  • Rodney Boegel

    Mother Earth, judging from your symptoms,I’d say you are entering Manopause.

  • W

    You’ve have four and a half billion good years but I have to be honest. . .these last few are going to be very expensive and very painful.

  • rij

    Reduce greed, add equality under the law, and replace fossil fuels with green energy in your diet, and you should be fine.

  • Charlie Sabatino

    “Your global temperature has definitely been increasing in the last few years…one or two degrees higher should kill off the parasite responsible for your illness.”

  • Christopher Maxwell

    1% of your fleas are causing 90% of your problems.

  • Scott Fry

    You don’t need a doctor for your condition….you need an asteroid or two and things will clear right up.

  • robert

    Yup, it’s a fever!- it’s how nature fights an infection…

  • Gianni Pronto

    So you say you haven’t felt like this since the Middle Ages?

  • Edward

    We know what you have but don’t know what we want to call it.

  • Abkame Moyabe

    Hehe….there there now…relax. It’s just a phase you’re going through.

  • Freewill

    I have good news and bad news. The good news is that scientists know exactly what is wrong with you and what to do to make you better. The bad news is that the treatment hasn’t been approved and probably won’t be in your life time.

  • Don Conner

    You don’t have a fever, it’s just global warming!

  • James Cole

    I looked over your chart. All you need is love.

  • David

    It’s capitalism, stupid.

  • Anonymous

    You need to move closer to Mars! drmrs 1/27/2014

  • Michelle Higgins

    You have a case of the humans. The good news is they have almost run their course.